i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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