I got chris browned last night
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
