At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
