I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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