Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
