Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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