that's an acceptable place to lick
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
