Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
