omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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