In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Couch. On fire.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
