It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize