ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
