Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
