So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
jump out the window naked night went bad
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
