Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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