girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
