Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
