Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
