She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this just has baby written all over it
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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