dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
