There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Everyone says I win the strip club
This is my life. Enjoy the view
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
