READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
