apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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