he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
