from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
