So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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