I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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