Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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