I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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