we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
