I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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