We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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