She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
