Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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