Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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