Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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