Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
