Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
