I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
