My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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