i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
