For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
