Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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