Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
