Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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