So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
