There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
