My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
