So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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