And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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