I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so let's talk penis.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
