But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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