Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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