My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
