we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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