woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
