I accidentally had phone sex last night
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
