you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
