put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
