just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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