I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
