I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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