if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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