Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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