Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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