if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Less talking, more tequila
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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