chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
