is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
